Here’s an example of bad ADD advice to a 25-year-old college grad who sounds like his ADD (which may be the cause of his depression, or an additional problem) has paralyzed him with regard to work and money.
The advice columnist, Salon’s Cary Tennis, is apparently clueless about adult ADD as well as arrogant in his [...]
Contributor Ken Kaye Archive
Insensitive advice
Monday, June 1st, 2009 by Ken Kaye
“Neuroenhancers” and attention to money
Sunday, April 26th, 2009 by Ken Kaye
“Neuroenhancers are perfectly suited for the anxiety of white-collar competition in a floundering economy. And they have a synergistic relationship with our multiplying digital technologies: the more gadgets we own, the more distracted we become, and the more we need help in order to focus.”
So concludes a New Yorker piece this week on the increasing [...]
Motivate, Teach, Support
Friday, April 3rd, 2009 by Ken Kaye
“How much do you need?” a father played by Jason Robards in the movie Parenthood asks his hapless son (Tom Hulce), with a look that says “… you worthless, disappointing, lying bum”—while reaching into his pocket.
As a psychologist as well as a father, I wanted a way to communicate exactly the opposite. A way to give my sons and daughters the consistent message, “You’re worthy, you’re capable of succeeding, I love you, and we’re going to help you.” A system that helps by teaching them to fish rather than merely handing them a wad of fish.
Parental Bailouts
Friday, April 3rd, 2009 by Ken Kaye
Different kinds and degrees of debt demand different kinds of intervention. But let’s begin with the general question: Is it wise to bail our adult children out of trouble they got themselves into? Or should one let them bear the consequences, so they learn?
Unless this is a long-term chronic problem, grab your bailing bucket. Absolutely. The lessons taught by overwhelming debt aren’t taught any better by letting a bad crisis become hopeless. Debt isn’t like water standing three feet deep in a basement, which has ruined the books and games stored there but will eventually flow away again and leave the owner with some cleaning up to do. It’s a rising flood, threatening to carry off the whole house—literally. Left alone, it doesn’t go away, it just gets deeper.
Projecting the Impact of Debt
Friday, April 3rd, 2009 by Ken Kaye
Although Jack would like to renew the lease on his studio apartment, he is facing the fact that he is broke, and needs parental EMT: Emergency Money Treatment. He has an invitation to move into a cheaper one-bedroom apartment, sharing the rent with his younger brother. He already owes his parents $400. He owes his girlfriend, Anne, $600. He has a small monthly car payment and a moderate student loan payment, but the big problem his parents only just learned about is a growing MasterCard balance.